Dear First Born:

I’m sorry, but you will feel life isn’t fair for you. That’s just the way it is. You are the one who will break in us parent-types, and have to deal with the brunt of our hovering, protective, scared-we-will-lose-you fears. You will wait to get all the goodies your friends who have older siblings have already like, cell phones, facebook, pierced ears, dates and tattoos (oh sorry, you’ll never get those while under my roof), and I’m here to tell you that your little brother will get all those things (including the lesson that he’s not getting tattoos) at an earlier age than you did. It’s not fair, but I’m glad I can teach you the following valuable lesson so early in life…LIFE ‘AINT FAIR!

You will have one advantage, though…you will get out of the house earlier, and get the freedom you so desperately want. Oh, just to let you know…you’ll have to pay for that freedom yourself, however, because if I’m still payin’, I still make the rules.
Love ya ~